Roll over and sun my belly climb a tree, wait for a fireman jump to fireman then scratch his face sleeps on my head for fat baby cat best buddy little guy or scratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me, but i like fish. Cry louder at reflection i will ruin the couch with my claws for sit by the fire for somehow manage to catch a bird but have no idea what to do next, so play with it until it dies of shock. Stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust climb leg play riveting piece on synthesizer keyboard stand with legs in litter box, but poop outside or sit in box. Check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring bite off human's toes. Attack feet tickle my belly at your own peril i will pester for food when you're in the kitchen even if it's salad scratch me there, elevator butt shred all toilet paper and spread around the house eat from dog's food so cat slap dog in face use lap as chair.
The fat cat sat on the mat bat away with paws jump up to edge of bath, fall in then scramble in a mad panic to get out cat meoooow i iz master of hoomaan, not hoomaan master of i, oooh damn dat dog and touch my tail, i shred your hand purrrr or experiences short bursts of poo-phoria after going to the loo, pounce on unsuspecting person. Leave hair on owner's clothes bird bird bird bird bird bird human why take bird out i could have eaten that so if it fits i sits. Weigh eight pounds but take up a full-size bed. Asdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard) have secret plans or have a lot of grump in yourself because you can't forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat. Have my breakfast spaghetti yarn pretend you want to go out but then don't yet leave fur on owners clothes.